Saturday, August 29, 2009

The Black Rock Grindhouse.... (I hope)

I am a Burning Man virgin..

Okay, I said it... Stop laughing already... I know.. I've lived in the Bay Area for over 8 years and I've never made the trek... Hell, at the rate I'm going, I'll likely be all kinds of a virgin all over again soon enough anyway, what with the whole lack of a social life and all...

But I digress (as usual)..

Actually, I never really thought of myself as Burning Man material.. I'm not really arty (even if I am the son of an "Artie").. I never did the whole rave or techno thing.. I'm not a hippie (even tho I can certainly begin to see the appeal lately).. I really don't do nudity (that would be me being nude, that is... I'm not fond of scaring children.. or nailing home any and all doubt a woman would have in possibly desiring me anytime soon..) So why the fuck am I doing this anyway..?

Well, two reasons... First, a good friend of mine who I doubt anyone would ever peg as a "Burning Man" person thinks I should ( And secondly:

Have you ever seen the movie A Boy and His Dog..? Please, if you haven't, you should... If for no other reason than to see a very young Don Johnson talking to a dog in the middle of a desert and extended scenes of Jason Robards in clown makeup.. Anyway, the movie is a post apocalyptic tale of, oddly enough, a boy and his dog.. More specifically, a guy in his late teens/early twenties desperate to get laid in a wasteland nearly devoid of human female life and his descended-from-genetically-manipulated-CIA-lab-animals dog, with whom he shares a psychic connection. Like I said, you really just have to see it. In the film, shortly after scoring a decent haul of canned goods, Vic (the aforementioned 'boy') and Blood (the dog) decide to cash some in to catch a movie.. A rare treat in the hell they live in. The 'theater' is some old furniture facing a makeshift screen upon which is projected old stag films by a dilapidated projector, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT. Talk about the ultimate guerilla drive (okay, walk... maybe stumble) in.

So... that's what I'm trying to do... I'm about ready to pull my hair out trying to get everything together at last minute... After all, it's tough enough to pull off a 'technical tour-de-force', much less do it in the middle of an alkali desert prone to severe dust storms with nary a Fry's or a Radio Shack so much as a hundred or so miles away.. But I'm going to try.. I've already amassed a ridiculous amount of DVDs and digital rips for this lunatic venture.. FAR more than I could ever play over the course of *3 months* of 8-10 hour nights, much less just a week.. But what can I say... I like to have variety.

So if you're out on the playa (not that ANYONE is reading my misbegotten blog, so I've noticed) and you want to see me more than likely fail spectacularly at trying to pull this off, look out for the Black Rock Abortion Clinic around midcamp (5:30 or so) towards the center.. With luck I'll have about a 14 foot diagonal screen going on the side of a moving truck.. If I can get it to work and not blow up or anything, that is..


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